


Mental Moirales (revised)

by MyLife



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: 413, Asylum!Stuck, Bipolar Disorder, Breakout, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gamzee Makara and Karkat Vantas Moirallegiance, Gamzee motherfucking Makara, Icp, Juggalo, Let's blow this popsickle stand, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Hospital, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Mental!stuck, Mentioned suicide attempt, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Rainbows, Self Confidence Issues, Self Loathing, Sollux is the monopoly king, This Is STUPID, Who even is this douchebag?, honk, jailbreak, lisping, pale turned flush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-07 15:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 9,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyLife/pseuds/MyLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Karkat is put into a mental hospital, he has many problems to deal with. Including DID juggalo roommates, lispy friends, and dorky food servers. WTH WILL HAPPEN?!?!?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: In Which Sollux is the MONOPOLY KING.

==> Be Gamzee Makara.

Your name is GAMZEE MAKARA, long time RESIDENT here at SKAIA MENTAL INSTITUTION and REHABILITATION CLINIC. Your not quite sure how long you've LIVED HERE, because you lost track at somewhere around SIX YEARS.

You have DID, also know as MULTIPLE PERSONALLY DISORDER. Sometimes these other motherfuckers, all up and invade your head, and you CAN'T STOP THEM. They call themselves the MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS, but they are ANYTHING BUT MITHFUL. 

All of these facts skim through your FOGGY BRAIN which isn't really paying attention to any of them, because you're on SO MANY different MEDICATIONS to "keep the voices at bay".

"Hey GZ, it'th your roll." A lispy voice snaps you back from your thoughts. Its SOLLUX CAPTOR. Your ONLY FRIEND in the mental hospital. He has been here for about a year now, ever since his MOOD SWINGS got OUT OF CONTROL.

Currently he's flicking his eyes between you and the board game on the table impatiently.

"Oh ya, motherfucker. Monopoly right? I'm the little shoe ain't I?" You ask picking the small metal piece from the table.

"No. You're the hat, GZ. I've been over thi'th like thirty time'th already!" His lisp is only more prominent now that he's frustrated. "Ju'th't roll the di'th'e."

"Oh. Ok brother." You proceed to do just that. You roll a six and a two, then count your piece forward eight spaces which lands you on.....

"Motherfuck."

"Ye'th!" Sollux exclaims realizing that you landed on boardwalk. Which HE owned. To top it off he had a hotel built on it.

You lay your head on the table in defeat as Sollux starts laughing at you and mentally counting out the ridiculous amount you owe him. 

Suddenly though the laughing stops. You pull your head from the white, cafeteria style table you were at to look up at your friend.

"Hey. Who'th that?"

Your eyes follow his outstretched arm to where it's pointing. Walking past the open door frame of the common area was someone you had never seen before. 

You could tell that were a new patient and not a nurse because he wasn't wearing scrubs. Also he was wearing shoes with no laces, a tell-tell sign of a Live-in client, and carrying a duffel bag.

Somehow though, this kid seemed different. His attire wasn't unusual; gray sweat pants, and a large black sweater. Nor was his over all appearance; jet black hair, pale skin, and a splash of freckles on his chheks and nose. No, it was they way he acted that set him apart.

You see, when people first arrived here they usually fit into one or more of these groups: A) Scared shitless B) Screaming that they "weren't crazy" C) So doped up that they didn't know where they are, or D) Accepting defeat.

The problem with the neewest arrival was that he didn't fit anywhere. He showed no fear or uncetainty as he walked, in fact he strode by as if he owned the place. 

Strange to say the least......

"Wonder if he's in Constant Th'erveillance. Maybe he'll be your new roommate." 

You shrug, not sure what to think of him. He could be here for something as simple as Alcohol Rehabilitate, which would put him on the opposite side of the building, or for something worse like skytzofrenia, in which case he would probably end up in the Constant Surveillance wing with you. 

You stop trying to bother yourself with thinking about it because really there's no way to know until later-

"Oh Well, I'm still, the Monopoly king over here!" Sollux says pumping his fist and counting his newly claimed money.

-In the mean time there's some lispy rumpus that needs kicking.


	2. In which Karkat Arrives

==> Be Karkat Vantas.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you just arrived at Skaia Mental Institution and Rehabilitation Clinic. You had laughed when you first heard the name becuase it could be abbreviated to smirc, and this was definately NOT a place that made you want smirk.

You are here for reasons that you DO NOT WISH TO DISSCUSS. It was stupid that you were here in the first place, so you tried to act NONCHQLANT about everything, while you were really PISSED OFF.

All of the nurses thus far have treated you like a fucking three year old, while you were in fact, a little over sixteen. They spoke in SLOW SENTANCES and PATTED YOUR HEAD, all the while giving you those 'knowing smiles'.

THEY DONT KNOW SHIT, you think to yourself as you travel down yet another white hallway with a nurse who had introduced herself as "Nurse Har-lee" in that oh so slow, pronounce every sillable, sort of way that was really starting to piss you off.

On the way through the facility you pass by what Harley calls the Common Area. Inside those open doors is a room that looks similar to a high school lunch room, complete with cafeteria tables and other patients sitting around talking or playing games with one another.

The rest of the journey is uneventful. Finally you reach a hall with white doors sunk into the walls every fifteen feet or so. They match the white everything else around here. Did you mention that you HATED WHITE? 

Nurse Harley walks to a door with the number #413 on it and knocks. After waiting a second and hearing no reply, she pulls it open and motions for you to enter. 

"This is going to be your new room Karkat. It seems that your roommate isn't here right now, so you can go ahead and unpack. He should be back before dinner so just wait till then and he'll show you the ropes."

She winks at you, then starts to leave but stops right before the door closes behind her. Turning around she smiles at you. "Welcome to Skaia, Mr. Vantas." Then she's gone.


	3. In which karkat hates life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I am aware the I am a lazy piece of shit. Thank, thank very much.

Chapter 3: In which Karkat Hates Everthing.

==>Karkat: Unpack meager belongings.

As the door closes you let out a relieved sigh, glad to finally be alone. That's when you notice the security camera on the ceiling, with its little red light blinking at you. God you hate this place already.

You toss your duffel bag onto the bed nearest the door since the other one is obviously your roommate's, and begin to pull your meager belongings from it.

Hygiene items go to the small bathroom in the back of the room, clothes in the drawers beneath your bed, extra pair of shoes (now laceless of course) at the foot of the bed.

Then your done.

Now came the part you HATED. The waiting. Because with waiting came boredom, and with boredom came thinking. You HATE thinking. Almost as much as you hated how everyone was treating you like you were unstable, how much you hated being here, how much you hate yourse-

Too late you realize where THAT'S going, and you try to stop the train of thoughts tumbling through your head. You need to distract yourself. Now.

You walk to the other side of the room and begin inspecting the posters taped on the walls on your roommates side.

It was an odd collection really. Posters of weird ass juggalo bands covered the walls, only to be interrupted by sloppy finger paintings of stick figures each painted different colors of the rainbow. 

Weird.

Then there was the Japanese soda advertisements depicting bottles of 'Faygo' placed strategically between the others.

Just then the door to the room opens up. You turn to yell at the obtuser for not knocking when...... 

 

"HOLY FUCK!" Is the only thing that seems logical to say, as a creepy ass clown kid walks into the room. 

He's taller than you by at least a good foot and has shaggy black hair that's messier than yours, which was really an accomplishment. As for the clown thing he was wearing black and white grease paint all over his face giving off the appearance of a demented clown.

"Oh hey!" They guy says taking notice of you. He has a droop to his eyes that makes you think he's pretty drugged up. "You my new roomy?"

"Oh for the love of Gog! You're my roommate? What the litteral fuck? I mean God forbid I get put with a normal crazy person! No no no, I get placed with the FUCKING JUGGALO CLOWN FREAK-" 

You plan on continuing your rant further but are suddenly cut short as the guy pull you off the ground and into his arms in the MOTHER of all bear hugs, nearly cracking your rib cage.

He sets you down after a good minute of nearly suffocating you, and you're left gasping.

"The name's Gamzee. Gamzee Motherfucking Makara." He gives you a weird lazy smile as you try to get enough air to reply.

"Karkat." Is all you manage between breaths. You try to sound pissed but your too winded for that.

"Nice to all up and meet you Karbro."

You roll your eyes and add another thing to your list of THINGS I HATE AT SMIRC. 

•Nurses  
•White Everything  
•Disinfectant smell  
•Gamzee


	4. In which Gamzee takes Karkat to dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yup dinner begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg. I'm 5o 5o 5ooooooo 5orry guy5! Here'5 @ new ch@pter. Ple@5e don't hate me.
> 
> I've been h@ving @ b@d week, @nd didn't feel like writing. @g@in, I'm 500000. 50rry.

"Gam'th'ee!" Sollux whines from outside the door. "What the fuck is taking th'o long in there?"

"We better head the motherfuck out. We don't want to miss dinner, bro." You say grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the room.

"WHAT THE FUCK? LET GO OF MY FUCKING ARM YOU DOUCHE-CANOE!" He yells at you, while trying to wriggle out of the iron grip you have on his arm.

As soon as you step outside the room Sollux stares at the two of you. "Hey i'th'n't that the new kid? Gue'th you guy'th are rommate'th then, huh?" He watches with a smirk on his face as he watched Karkat wipe at his sweater self-consciously, as if you had gotten it dirty just by touching it.

"NO SHIT SHERLOCK! ARE WE GONNA PLAY ANOTHER ROUND OF STARE AT THE NEW GUY LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT?"

Wow this guy is angry.... And loud.

"Oh Jegu'th chri'th't. Don't tell you're new roommate's an a'th'hole."

"Naw he's just all up and pissy right now cause he's nervous. Ain't ya Karbro?" You smile at Sollux, then at Karkat, hoping to end the conversation.

"Fuck off, Clown freak!" He starts, as he flips you off. "Just cut the bullshit antics and take me to dinner already. I'm fucking starving!" Karkat's stomach growls to reidderate his point.

"Sure. Follow me motherfucker." You say taking he lead down the hall before Sollux has a chance to retort, and start the fight over again.

Soon enough you reach the door to the Common Area, which now has the food line open. You're a little later than usual, due to your introductions to Karkat, but the line isn't too bad yet.

Karkat follows behind nervously as you and Sollux get into line, suddenly silent as he stares at all of the unknown faces milling around him.

"Th'o, you got a name, or should I ju'th't call you a'th'hole?" Sollux asks turning back to Karkat, as you wait for the line to move.

Karkat scans over him with his eyes as if trying to decide if he should be angry about the 'asshole' comment. Then, after a deep breath, he sticks his hand out to Sollux and says "The name's Karkat Vantas. How 'bout you, or maybe you'd like 'lispy douche sponge' better."

Sollux smirks at the shorter person before taking his hand giving it a firm shake. "Th'ollux Captor."

You smile even wider than you had been before, happy that those two have seemed to befriended each other, if only through there similar interest in trying to piss people off.

"Hey Gamzee!" A voice calls from ahead of you. You look up and realize that the line moved, and quickly you move forward to meet win the man who had called you.

It was of course John, the nurse appointed to food services. "Hey John. What's up motherfucker?" You ask as you stand waiting for him to make up another tray.

"Nothing much. The food's still barely edible, and I'm still serving it. As usual." He gives you a huge grin that actually rivals your own, as he hands you a tray of 'meatloaf' that looks more like a giant lump of crap.

"Thanks Bro!" It's not his fault the food here is shitty, you know that he's just the guy unfortunate enough to have to serve it.

You wait for Sollux and Karkat to grab trays before you all proceed to find an empty table. There's one at the back of the room, and you all sit down. 

"Th'o KK what are you here for?" Sollux starts the conversation innocently enough, as you all begin picking at your food half heartedly.

"None of your fucking business!" Karkat exclaims, standing up and slamming his fists intouthe table top. 

"Calm your tit'th KK! If you don't wanna tell u'th that'th fine. No need to flip out." 

Karkat makes a stern face at him, still shaking slightly with anger, before lowering himself back into the seat, jaw clentched.

"I'll th'thart then. I have bipolar disorder, which i'th'n't u'th'ually a big deal, but my mood 'thwings got really bad and I...... did 'th'ome 'th'hit I'm not real proud of." Sollux finishes quickly, before turning to you expectantly.

"Uh well. I all up and have two motherfuckers living in my head, and they ain't very nice dudes." You explain to Karkat.

He gives you a confused look, so Sollux explains. "He has multiple personality disorder." 

At this Karkat only nods. Staring at both of you differently that had had been a few minute's prior.

"Ugh, way to make me pity your sorry asses! Now I have to tell you don't I? Otherwise I'll just be a huge fucking douche!"

Both you and Sollux smile and nod your heads enthusiastically. 

"Well too bad for you, I'm already a huge douche, and I know it. I'm NOT gonna tell." He smiles mischievously as both you and Sollux' hopes drop.

"Your a 'th'hithead, you know that?" Sollux tells Karkat, who is now lying on the table laughing at how easily he got your hopes up.

"Hey guys!" 

All of you stop and turn to face the nurse, Jade, who had snuck up behind you. She's carrying a tray with little white paper cups on it. Each labled nicely.

Of course... you had almost forgotten about Meds Time.

"One for you Gamzee. And here's your Sollux." The nurse lady hands both you and Sollux little plastic cups with your names on them. Inside are your prescribed medicine. Your cup is considerably fuller than Sollux'.

The Jade's eyebrows scruntch together as she notices Karkat.

"I'm so sorry, but I seem to forgotten your name." She tells him, with a sorry little frown.

"Wow, you walked me to my not even an hour ago and you already forgot? No wonder your working this dead end job. My name Karkat Vantas, you incompetent douche sponge. You better not forget it again either, because I'm getting fucking tired of repeating myself."

She looks taken aback by his response, but says nothing, instead she searches the forest of labeled cups on her tray until she finds one with Karkat's name on it. "Here we go! Don't forget to eat something with those or you'll get a tummy ache." She says before briskly moving on to another table.

You giggle at the way she treated Karkat. Like he's a little kid. Maybe it was because he was so short and adorable.

"Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with the nurses? They treat us like babies! Who the fuck says even says 'tummy ache'? I mean seriously do they think were THAT incompetent?!?!"

You watch the way his lips curl as he snarls and notice how soft they look. The way they form those angry, creative sentences so quickly amazes you. It was like a motherfucking miracle.

Sollux and Karkat are both staring at you now. Had they asked you a question?

"Uh.... could you all up and repeat that?"

"I asked if you were going to take your pills, or just stare at them you ignorant douche muffin!" Karkat places another miraculous insult into the sentence with ease.

"Oh, uh, ya."

You pick up the cup and turn it back, swallowing the pills dry.

Just as you set the cup back down the clock ticks 8, signaling the end of dinner. It was time to go get ready for bed.


	5. In which Karkat is the drugged kid.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat gets put on his Meds, and its a pretty high dose.

The clock strikes 8 and Gamzee and Sollux stand up from the table.

"Come on, kk. Dinner'th over now." Sollux says as he grabs everyone's trays and takes them to the 'dirty dishes' pile.

You stand up and almost fall over as you're suddenly met with a wave of dizziness. Luckily Gamzee is there and helps steady you.

"You ok brother?" He asks concerned.

"Ya, I'm fine." You say briefly, wriggling out of his grasp.

Sollux returns briefly, telling you he'll see you guys tomorrow, before heading in the opposite direction of you and Gamzee's room.

You manage to get back to your feet, defying the fucking rotations the room seems to be doing, before following Gamzee out the door.

The hallways seem to go on forever and before long your leaning on the wall for support. God did everything have to be spinning? It was starting to make you feel nauseous.

Suddenly your lying on the floor staring at the ceiling, not quite sure how you got there, nor quite sure how to get back up.

Luckily, you don't have to. Gamzee leans down over you studying you with lazy eyes. "Yo. Karbro. You okay?"

You start to shake your head in a 'no' but it makes the spinning worse. "Fucking...... drugs...... " you manage to slur out, your heavy tongue making words difficult.

He seems to understand though, because he picks you up bridal style, and carries you the rest of the way to your room. 

By the time you get there you're practically asleep in his arms, your head lolling back and forth with every step. He lays you down on your bed and your eyelids shut immediately in response.


	6. In which Sollux fixes the drugged kid.

When you arrive at breakfast the next morning Gamzee and Karkat are already sitting a table eating. You quickly grab a bowl and John pours you some Frosted Flakes at the counter.

You notice something is off almost as soon as you sit down with your friends.

The table is.... quiet. Which, if yesterday was anything to judge by, is very unlike Karkat.

"Morning GZ. Morning KK." You say trying to start a conversation to break the silence.

Karkat looks up, and you expect to call you a 'furgy douche muffin' or something eaqually as stupid. But instead he just gives you a big dorky smile, that looks like it should belong to John. 

WTF?

"Hey Sollux." He slurs, then scrunches his eyebrows together, and smiling impossibly wider. "Heh. Your name is funny. Sollux. Sooooolluuux. solulululux." He seems to get a kick out of this, as he immediately erupts into giggles so hard at this that he nearly falls out of his seat.

"Hey Kk, you feeling ok?" You ask, grabbing his soever so that he doesn't fall off his chair.

"Yeah. I'm feeling pretty good. Like reeeeeeeeally goooooood. Reeeeeeeeeealalalalaalaly." Then he starts laughing again, this time actually falling out of his seat, and falling on the floor.

You've barely known this guy for a few hours but you can tell that this isn't like him. Hell this is wired even for a mental hospital. Unless Karkat's bipolar, and just really happy right now, you're pretty sure he's doped to hell.

"Uh..... ok." You turn to Gamzee who you can tell is thinking the same thing. God, he probably had to deal with him all night.

It takes both of you to get him back into his seat, and then for the rest of the meal one of the two of you has to keep and arm on his back to make sure he doesn't fall back over.

When the morning round of pills arrive you take Karkat's and quickly shove them in your pocket. You were NOT going to put up with this dopey, idiot Karkat.

"Sollux! I just saw rainbow! In my cereal!" His eyes are wide in astonishment, staring at his soggy bowl of frosted flakes.

You sigh, and rest your head in your hands. You would have to deal with him you guess, at least until last night's pills wore off.

This was going to be a long day.


	7. In which Karkat hates past him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat gets of the drugs and feels like crap. Gamzee wants to read though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my GOD. I h@ve this terrible need to write... all the f@nfiction5.... oh God ple@5e 5top me...

You, Gamzee, and Sollux are walking down a hallway towards the library. You really don't want to be reading right now because your head is pounding and all the lights seem way to bright, but you figure after all the shit you put those through today you would at least let Sollux grab some books.

Sollux turns back to you, half expecting you to starting smile like an idiot (which had left your face feeling sore) and and tell him how beautiful the world is.

God you hate yourself. Seriously, you couldn't even take your Meds without screwing up and making people miserable. You were nothing more than a complete lack of oxygen.

Finally you reach the library, and you guys slip up. Sollux heads towards the section labled Non-fiction, and gamzee heads towards the comic books.

You instead walk to the nearest bean bag chair and sink into it, wishing that you could just restart the day. No scratch that, restart the week, then you could stop yourself from ending up in this place. 

After a few minutes of lying with your eyes tightly shut you feel a tap on your shoulder.

"What the fuck? Can't you see that I'm in the middle of wallowing in self pity you worthless piece of shit?" You say, unwilling to open your eyes. Whoever it was could wait.

"Sorry, Karbro. I was just... all up and wonderin if you wanted to read with me, but I mean if you don't wanna that's cool to, bro." 

You squint your eyes open to stare up at Gamzee. He looks disappointed by your answer, like a sad puppy.

Oh fuck. Who could say no to that face? 

"Gamzee set your ass down and hand me the comic." You say gruffly, pointing to the chair next to you.

He smiles down at you before flopping into the purple chair next to you. Then he hands you a paperback comic labled 'Bard'. On the fro t was a super hero with a ridiculous purple outfit. For the love of God his symbol was the out line of a beard and eyebrows.

"What the fuck is this Gams?" You ask staring in disbelief at the pure stupidity of the book.

"Man that's Bard. Hes the shit, Bro. All up and fighting bad guys. He never takes nothing from nobody, cause he's a bad ass. Even has an awesome outfit."

Oh. My. God. Did he really think this was cool? You can't imagine anyone liking this utter bullshit. 

He turns to look at you expectantly, and you notice how glazed his eyes are, reminding you of everything you thought was 'awesome' today. 

Maybe, just this once, you'd read something so terrible. For his sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ple@5e tell me if there's @ny mi5t@ke5... plz?


	8. In which Sollux explores his feels.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Sollux... jealous?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't expect this to be 5imple 5hipping wi5e... did you? Oh no no no.... It i5 ME @fter@ll.

One second you're minding your own business, searching for a new coding book, and the next thing you know a giggle erupted from some where else in the library.

You turn heel and start walking towards the disturbance, ready to start yelling at the imbisle that was disturbing your sacred library time when, just as you turn the corner, you realize who it was.

 

It was..... KK and GZ.

You quickly duck back behind the corner, and barely peek your head out, so aas to not be seen. WTF were they doing.

Karkat was sitting in a bean bag chair holding a purple comic book. Gamzee was seated directly behind him, reading over his shoulder.

Gamzee smiles wickedly the starts tickling Karkat's sides, causing the former to start giggling again.

"Fuck.... gamze- hehehe- f-fuck off. Hehehe. STOP!" Karkat can barely form a sentance as he lies there being baraged by your friends unstoppable rampage of tickles.

Finally Gamzee gets up and smiles at Karkat. "Your so cute when you giggle, Karbro."

Karkat blushes fiercely and quickly ducks his head to hide it. "Fuck off, you insufferable asshat."

Gamzee laughs at that and picks the comic back up, and hands it to KK.

You turn away from the scene, suddenly dishearted. Ya, you were happy that they were having fun but.... It made your insides turn inside out. You wanted to see Karkat blush like that at you.... to laugh and giggle, without the need of drugs. Gamzee made it look so easy.

You think about explaining your feelings to Karkat, but your better judgement stops you. You had only known him for two days, there's no way he would reciprocate.

You sigh and turn back to your search for coding books, not quite so interested in finding them anymore.

π

At dinner that night you all sit at your now usual spot, at the back of the room. The meal isn't too bad, which is unusual, but its a nice change.

When Meds come around Karkat pockets his, making a nasty face at them and apologizing for his actions today, for what must be the millionth time.

You finish a bit early and stand up. "Hey. I need to go grab th'ome th'hit from my room, guy'th. Wanna come?"

Gamzee and Karkat give each other a look before nodding and standing up. 

"Awes. Does little baby Sollux need help finding his room?" Karkat coo's jokingly.

"Oh th'ut the fuck up you dick. You don't even know where my room i'th." You retort.

You continue this banter back and forth until you reach your room. The door has a giant Roman numeral on the front, as do all the rooms on this side of the building. You pull on door II and walk inside, montoon for the other two to follow.

Your roommate is already asleep on the bed, and doesn't even stir as you flip the lights on.

"What the fuck is that guys problem?" Karkat asks jerking a thumb at him.

"Oh. That's Mituna. His brain'th a little...... th'crambled. And to add to that he get'th these crazy night terrors about people dying and th'hit, so they have him on th'ome pretty hardcore th'leeping pill'th."

"Oh...." Karkat says staring at the sleeping boy.

You walk to your dresser and search through the mess inside, in search of what you came for. It takes a solid minute, but soon you find it.

You hand the small gray device to Karkat who stares at it incomprehensibly.

"Uh.... what the fuck is this Sollux? It looks like a.... fuck I don't even KNOW what it looks like."

"Its kinda like a pager. It will let u'th send me'th'age'th' to each other."

"Awe, that's cool motherfucker!" Gamzee leans forward and takes the device from Karkat's hands. 

"It work'th like a cell phone. Ju'th't type your me'th'age here, and click here to th'end it. Then my me'th'age'th will th'how up here." You start pointing at the different parts of the divice, teaching the two how to work it.

"I only have one extra right now, th'o you two will have to th'hare, for a couple day'th. But now we can talk whenever."

"His the motherfuck, we gonna know who's who then?" Gamzee asks scruntching his eyebrows together.

"We could talk with quirks." Karkat suggests.

"Totally!" You says smirking. 

"Great, see you tomorrow, fag tissue." Karkat says, walking out of your room with Gamzee trailing behind.

You smile as he walks from your room. He had seemed genuinely happy with the gift, which made you happy. Maybe there was hope for you yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @5 @lw@y5 ple@5e point out my fl@w5 @nd mi5t@kes.


	9. In which Karkat flips the fuck out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat has a nightmare, but sollux is there to comfort him. Dawwww....

You bolt upright in your bed, eyes flicking open. Your heart is beating a million miles an hour, and your covered in sweat. You had just woken up from yet another terrible nightmare, the problem was... you couldn't remember what it was about.

This happened all the time for you, and after waking up, you couldn't fall back asleep, which explained the heavy bags under your eyes.

Glancing at the clock you see that it 2 am, you're not expected to wake up for another five hours.

You wrap your blanket around yourself in an act to feel safer, but it doesn't work. Maybe Gamzee's awake.

"Hey Gams! You awake?" You hiss quietly, voice still shaking from the dream.

After no response you try again a bit louder. "Gamzee, dude wake up."

Still nothing.

You set your feet on the floor and shuffle over to his bed, and gently shake his shoulder, he just continues snoring. God, maybe his meds had some side affects too.

You sit back on your bed, unsure what to do. Suddenyl it occurs to you that you could message Sollux. But there's no say he's awake.... right?

You shrug your shoulders and pick up the messenger. You and Gamzee had been messaging him before bed, so you already had quirks established, and knew how to work the device pretty well.

 

~HEY FUCKASS, YOU AWAKE?~

After a minute he responds.

~What the fuck do you want KK?|

Holy tits, he was aactually awake.

~I CANT SLEEP.~ 

You decide not to go into anymore detail than that, no need to have people worry about you. I mean more than then already do, Jesus Christ you were in a mental hospital.

~Ya. Me eiither. Wanna come over?~  
~LIKE TTO YOUR ROOM? ITS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, I'LL BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE IF II GET CAUHT, DUMBASS.~  
~Naw. II'll put the camera'2 on loop to giive you tiime to get down here."  
~HOLY FUCK, YOU CAN DO THAT?~  
~Ya. No biigiie, really. I have my laptop riight here, and mituna'2 out for the count. Come on over.~

You contemplate this in your head. On o e hand it would be nice to have someone to comfort you right now, but on the other... there was so many things that could go wrong.

~I'M IN, DOUCHE. THIS BETTER NOT BE A STUPID ASS PRANK TO GET ME THROWN INTO A WHITE ROOM AS PUNSHMENT FOR BEING OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK. THE ABSOLUTE LAST THING I NEED IS TO GET THROWN INTO A PADDED ROOM BECAUSE SOME DOUCHEBAG WANTED TO GET SOME SHIT AND GIGGLES."~

~Jegu2 chrii2t KK. You talk a lot. Just get over here.~

You smile at the small screen. Sollux may be a complete and udder douche, but he had good intentions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ple@5e stop me.....plzzzzzzz.


	10. In which SNUGGLES!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux receives Karkat's messages, what now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind@ don't 1ike this ch@pter. I fee1 1ike I've dis@pointed you @ll with my shitty snugg1e writing ski11s.

You hadn't slept at all. You couldn't. There was just to much pent up energy that you couldn't get rid of. You had been coding on the rudimentary laptop that a friend had managed to smuggle in for you, the inexhaustible energy that came from the ups of your bipolar disorder fuling you on, when your communication device beeped.

 

~HEY FUCKASS, YOU AWAKE?~

You weigh your options briefley. You could pretend like you were, in fact, asleep and return to the laptop calling for you, or you could reply to Karkat and listen to his bullshit.

The choice was obvious.

~What the fuck do you want KK?~

~I CANT SLEEP.~ 

That surprises you for some reason. Why was he coming to you with this? If he was merely an insomniac he probably would have just sat there tossing and turning all night but..... he was asking for help, even if it was unintentional.

~Ya. Me eiither. Wanna come over?~

 

~LIKE TO YOUR ROOM? ITS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, I'LL BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE IF I GET CAUGHT, DUMBASS.~

You almost laugh at this. KK was worried about 'getting in trouble'? Wow. 

~Naw. II'll put the camera'2 on loop to giive you tiime to get down here.~

It was almost laughable how easy this place's security was to hack.

~HOLY FUCK, YOU CAN DO THAT?~

~Ya. No biigiie, really. I have my laptop riight here, and mituna'2 out for the count. Come on over.~

~I'M IN, DOUCHE. THIS BETTER NOT BE A STUPID ASS PRANK TO GET ME THROWN INTO A WHITE ROOM AS PUNSHMENT FOR BEING OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK. THE ABSOLUTE LAST THING I NEED IS TO GET THROWN INTO A PADDED ROOM BECAUSE SOME DOUCHEBAG WANTED TO GET SOME SHIT AND GIGGLES."~

You laugh as you read through the wall of grey text. How does someone even manage to talk like that?

~Jegu2 chrii2t KK. You talk a lot. Just get over here.~ 

You throw the device down and pull your laptop back into your lap. Pulling it open you quickly set the cameras on loop, as you had done many times for your own endevors.

With all that said and done you return to coding while you waited for him.

π

A soft knock on your door a few minutes later pulls your attention the mindless work you had become intranced with.

"Sollux?" Calls Karkat, his voice nothing more than aa whisper.

You stand up and walk to the door, pulling it open.

A deshevled Karkat stands on the other side. Even in the dim light you can tell that be has been crying, leaving his eyes puffy and red. Not only that but he's shaking like a leaf.

Though its VERY unlike you, you pull the shorter boy into a hug. At first he tenses unsure how to react, but after a few seconds he melts into your arms.

You half drag him to your bed and set him down, you sit right next to him, and pull the figure into your chest, slowing his tears to fall and wet your shirt.

"KK. You- you wanna talk about it?" You whisper into his ear.

He shakes his head in a soft 'no'. 

You respect his privacy, and try to just comfort him. You run your hand through his hair, and rub his back in small, gentle circles.

Just hours earlier he had been so loud, so angry, so.... Karkat. What had cause him to breakdown so thoroughly?

After a while his sobbing calms down, and his breath comes more steadily, the hitches and hiccups only coming every so often.

Finally he looks up at you for the first time since he had entered, his stormy gray eyes still glistening. 

"I don't deserve people like you. I- I'm a waste of space, a burden, a-"

You cut him short with a sudden kiss. Right on the lips. 

Oh. Shit.

Suddenly you realize what you're doing, and pull back quickly. God you had probably just ruined your friendship. You didn't even know if he LIKED guys. Wtf was wrong with you?

"Kk. I- oh God. I'm 'th'o 'th'orry. I didn't mea-"

And suddenly your lips were tangled again. He was kissing YOU. 

HO. LY. SHIT.

You pull him closer to you. This time you take a moment to enjoy it. His lips taste like tears but that's okay. It just feels so right. So good.

He pulls back first, gasping for a breath.

You smile at him, but say nothing. No words were needed. 

He was hurting, but that was okay, because you were here to hold him and care for him. 

You pull him down under the covers and curl your arms around the smaller boy. You knew he was tired, and if the bags under his eyes were any indication, he desperately needed sleep.

So you let him. You pull him close to you and wait until his breathing becomes deep and rhythmic. 

Slowly yours does the same. You had been feeling wired and wide awake not to long ago, but with Karkat here you felt calm.

You smile and drift to sleep, smuggling the shit out of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo guys. Sorry for t@kin so 1ong. Ive been he11@ busy with a schoo1 dr@m@ production I'm in. 
> 
> @s @lw@ys TELL ME WHAT I DO WRONG!!!!!! Te11 me how to improve/ give suggestions/ fix mist@kes/ ect.
> 
> P1zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... ( ;C


	11. In which two people are unsure about their feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.... nuff said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry bout the w@it. I promise I'11 try h@rder....

When you wake up Karkat is gone. His warmth no longer gracing your bed, protecting you from the cold harsh world beyond.

Ok that was being a llittle dramatic but still, he hadn't he told you goodbye.

Slowly you sit up feeling around for your glasses which you had forgotten to take off last night, now they were hidden in your pile of blankets.

With a screech of triumph you pull the lenses from under a pillow. This, unfortunately wakes up your roommate.

"What defuq arrrre you doing?" He stutters, half asleep.

"Nothing Tuna, go back to 'th'leep." You reply.

"But I want breakfasssst." He gets caught on the 's' and holds it like like a broken record for a few seconds.

Wow. That was a surprise, he actually wanted to leave the room? 

"Uh, ok then. I gue'th' you can come with me." 

Tuna leaps from the bed and rushes to the door still in his PJ's.

"Uh, Tuna. You might wanna put 'th'ome clothe'th' on."

≠

==> Be Karkat Vantas

Fuck.

Fuck life.

Up the ass with a rusty spoon.

Scratch that, make it a pitch fork, a spoon would be showing life more kindness than it deserved.

Currently your sitting on your bed, unmoving. Gamzee is waiting for you by the door, unsure if your going to follow him out to breakfast or not.

Hell your not sure if your going to follow him or not. You don't know if you can face Sollux. 

Last night was not your proudest moment. You sobbed like a baby for at least a twenty minutes, and then to top it all of you had kissed that bipolar douchebag.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

You didn't know if you could ever look him in the eyes again. You had been weak, an emotional wreck, and had slipped. You had kissed him.

You hadn't even thought of him that way before. I mean hell you've only known the guy for a few days, but...... It had felt nice. It had been just what you needed, right when you needed it.

So why were you such a mess?

You slam your head into your pillow and moan angrily.


	12. In which shit happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. There's no excuse for me. I suck. Oh well ready to get your feels wrecked?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. And by delay I mean me being a lazy piece of shit. Well I had like a RELAY good weekend, and got a lot of shit done. Like three chapters of this done, along with starting somemore fanfictions. I'll be uploading those soon if your interested.

==> Be the lispy douchebag.

You half-heartedly swirl pieces of your soggy toaster waffle around in syrup, waiting for Karkat and Gamzee to show up. You couldn't get Karkat off your mind. How would he feel about last night? Why had he left? Why hadn't he told you goodbye at least?

Mituna sits beside you jabbing his orange repeatedly with a spoon, completely oblivious to your inner turmoil. 

"Sooolluuuuux! My Orange won't fucking peel!" He practically yells at you.

"Holy mother of fuck Tuna! 'Th'hut the hell up!" You scream back, completely driven to your limit. Between his bullshit and your Karkat problem you where getting pushed over the deep end.

Mituna's face drops. "I, I, I'm sorry Sollux."

Regret fills you. It wasn't his fault. Ya he's annoying but that isn't problem, he was just another messed up kid stuck in the looney bin.

"No Tuna, I'm 'th'orry. I 'th'houldn't have flipped my 'th'hit like that." You pick up his half mutilated orange and begin peeling it for him.

After your done you set it in front of him. He gives you a goofy little grin, before digging in with the vigor of a pack of starving dogs.

Just then Gamzee strolls up to the table, his usual lazy smile hanging droopily on his lips.

"What's up my motherfuckin best bro?" He says taking the seat next to you.

You look around, searching for Karkat, but to no avail. "Where's KK?"

"Brother said he had a wicked ass headache."

"Oh..." Was he avoiding you? Had you overstepped yourself last night? What if-

"Yo Sollux." Gamzee says snapping his fingers in front of your face."You even payin attention?"

"Oh, uh..... th'orry GZ. What wa'th that?"

"I asked if you were gonna motherfuckin eat that cereal or drown them poor little fellas." He asks staring a your bowl.

You sigh and push the ruined breakfast forward on the table. You weren't hungry anyways.

Then, crossing your arms in front of you, you lay your head down and give a defeated sigh. "Fuck......."

≠

==> Karkat: Have an emotional breakdown.

It had been an hour since Gamzee had left for breakfast. An hour of silence. An hour of loneliness. An hour of terrible thoughts seeping through your mind.

Now you were back to the state to the sstate that had winded you up in this place. Hating yourself, and the world. 

An enormous headache pounded like a lumberjack on steroids, echoing off the sides of your head. Your wrists throbbed and old wounds begged to be reopened.

'Just one more time.' Small whispers carried through his head, riding the headache like a surfed on an impossibly large wave. 'Just this last time, no one has to know.' 

"Shut up." Karkat whispers to himself.

'You know it'll feel good. It'll take the edge of the pain.'

"Fuck it." You couldn't really argue there. You were fighting a losing battle and you knew it.

'Plus there aren't any cameras in the bathroom.'

Shakily you rise from your bed, and head to the bathroom. The probability was that no one was watching your room right now anyways. Security would be focussed on the patients at breakfast.

You close the door to the bathroom, wishing it had a lock on it, before proceeding to the shower. You turn it on full blast in case Gamzee comes back.

Now the final piece of the puzzle, how would you do it?

You look yourself in the mirror, seeing messy hair never willing to lay flat, dark uninteresting brown eyes, and a too round face. Taking a closer look you find some more recent additions to the collection. Dark heavy bags under your eyes from your lack of sleep, a paleness of your skin and sharpness of your bones from your lack of nourishment, and lastly the look of utter defeat lingering in your eyes.

Seriously, you were a fucking wreck.

Pulling away from the mirror an idea suddenly hit you.

The. Mirror.

You allow yourself a small smirk at the stunning realization. But surely it would actually break would it?

Pulling back your fist you swing at the center of the mirror. It cracks and shatters with spilling shards, and splitting your knuckles into a bloody mess.

'Fuck someone probably heard that.'

Quickly you drop to the ground. You were screwed anyways, yoi might as well get in a few slices right?

You roll up your sleeve on your left arm, revealing a horrid collage of cuts and scars. Years of your life could be told on that arm, and you hated it. 

You hated yourself.

Hated that you were so fucking worthless. So stupid. So ugly. 

You hated that you hated yourself.

You pick up a large share next to you and grip it tightly in your hand, the sharp edges digging into your skin, causing blood to drip from the makeshift blade.

Delicately you run it across your skin, gentle enough to barley scratch. Goose bumps run across you skin and a feeling of disgusting pleasure washes over you.

Hating yourself for it all the more, you run the glass again this time harder, deeper.

Blood pours from the wound and again you slice, angry with yourself. Angry with with the world.

You keep cutting until you finally realize your mistake, too late.

There was too much blood. It wouldn't stop. It was bleeding over the sides at overwhelming speeds.

The glass was sharper than the dull replica sickles you usually used, and you hadn't even realized it. You had pressed just as hard though, and now blood was everywhere.

Fuck you hadn't wanted to kill yourself. Only to hurt. To feel a physical release for your built up emotional pain.

And worse no one had heard you break the mirror as you had thought. No one had come running.

Now you were going to die on the cold bathroom floor of a rehabilitation center.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the errors btw. I don't have a beta reader, if anyones interested I would be HIGHLY appreciave.
> 
> As always thanks for reading guys.


	13. In which discoveries are made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is nothing left of you,  
> I can see it in your eyes,  
> Sing the anthem of the angels.  
> And say your last goodbye.
> 
> I keep holding on to you,  
> But I cant bring you back to life,   
> Sing the anthem of the angels,  
> And say your last goodbye.
> 
> ~Anthem of the Angels - Breaking Benjamin~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooohoooo! Next chapter is here. How bout dat cliff hanger?

==> Be Sollux again.

"What's he matter motherfucker?" Gamzee asks innocently.

"Nothing GZ. Leave me the fuck alone." You murmur through trough the arm your laying on.

"Aw come on brother, you can tell me."

You stay silent.

"Is it Karkat? I know you two motherfuckers are becoming pretty good bros."

You groan into your arms. As always Gamzee, stupid as he may seem, saw right through you.

Sighing you lift your lead to face your friend. He's giving you an all to knowing smile.

"Tell me what the motherfuck is wrong, Bro."

So you do. You recount last nights escapade to your best, and probably only, friend.

Despite the glassy look in his eyes you know he's listening. He nodes his head a couple of times, but stays silent until your finished.

"Then when I woke up he wa'th gone." You conclude. "Did I do th'omethinf wrong? Doe'th he no like me? Doe'th he-"

Gamzee puts a finger to your lip indicating you to 'shut the motherfuck up'.

"Bro, I dont know what Karkat is thinking right now, but I'm all up and guessing its exaclty the same thoughts as the ones running through your motherfuckin thinpan. He look all kinds of confused when I left."

"Th'o what do you th'ugge'th't?"

"I say we go talk tto the tucker as soon as were done with breakfast. See what he's all up and thinkin." Gamzee replies, smiling at you, proud of his brilliant plan.

"Why can't we go now?" You plead.

"Soooooolluuuuux!" Tuna screeches beside you.

"That's motherfucking why." Gamzee says banning a thumb in Mituna's direction.

Oh yeah. You had a braindead teenager to attend to.

π

Finally, forty minutes later you and Gamzee were finally done. You stared down at the once again sleeping frame of Mituna and smile.

It was hard as fuck to put him to bed, but you knew he wouldn't be awake for at least another eight hours.

Especially since his medicine had finally kicked in.

Now to find Karkat.

Slowly you and Gamzee begin your walk towards his and Karkat's shared room. You were flipping the hell out still. What would you say? Should you apologize? Or ask him if he reciprocates your feelings? Maybe you should ask why he left first.

Then, suddenly, your at the dreaded door, spouting 413 at you mockingly.

Fuck you weren't ready for this. You'd talk later. 

Quickly you turn on your heels and begin to abscond only to feel a strong bony hand fall on you shoulder, homing you in place.

"Where the motherfuck do you think your going?" Gamzee asks giving you a stern look.

"Gamzee I can't do thi'th. I-I-I'll talk to him later." You stammer trying to think of an excuse to leave right this second.

"Like hell you are. You two need to get this shit sorted out right now, motherfucker."

"But GZ!" You whine.

"I'll go in first, and you can motherfuckin follow me in." He says pretending he didn't hear your plea.

He opens the door and barges in, only to find the room.empty.

"Where the fuck did he run off to?" Gamzee asks no one in particular.

You hear the whine of a shower coming from behind a second door.

"Uh, Gamz. I think he'th taking a shower." You say relieved. Now you wouldn't have to talk to him.

That's when a low groan of pain eminates from the unseen room. 

You and Gamzee glance at each other. Had Karkat fallen in the shower and gotten hurt? Did he need help?

Gamzee walks over to the door and puts his ear up to it. "Yo karkbro? You okay in there?" He asks.

No reply.

"Dude th'eriou'th'ly, are you hurt?" You ask.

Still nothing.

Gamzee slowly opens the door, and steam blasts out of the room from the ongoing shower water.

Your glasses immediately fog up from the steam and you quickly wipe the on your shirt.

"What the motherfuck?!?!" Gamzee yelps taking a step back.

You put you glasses on, only to find a scene of complete horror laid out beneath you.

There was so much blood.

Too much blood.

And Karkat.

Karkat layed in the middle of the mess unmoving. 

He looked....

Dead.

You let out a very unmasculine screech and pass out cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. Dat cliff hanger. Its still there. Mwahahaha!


	14. In which Karkat returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter people. <3<3<3

==> Be someone we haven't been in a while. Like Gamzee.

Two weeks ago you and Sollux had found Karkat in the bathroom, half dead, and man was that some scary shit.

 

I mean, yeah the little dude had lived, but holy tits that had scared you.

Not as much as Sollux though, that little motherfucker had passed out on the spot, but it had scared you allthe same.

Just now a nurse had come to inform you oh so formally that "your roommate will be returning today" and boy were you exited.

That fucker had a lot of explaining to do.

So today you opt to stay in your room, waiting for his sorry ass to arrive.

An hour passes, then another, then three. Finally somewhere around noon the door opens without a knock, and in strides Karkat as if nothing had ever happened.

"Hey Gamz." He says face planting onto his bed.

You stare at him, dumbfounded. Was he going to brush off everything that had happened?

"Uh..... hey brother." You reply almost quizzically.

A silence hangs a moment, then just as you decide to speak up, he begins talking.

"That was probably the crappiest two weeks of my life. They didn't even let me use fucking spoons because God forbid I stab myself with a piece of fucking plastic." He says with a smirk.

Again you stand at a loss, why was he downplaying this all so much?

"Bro, I think we all up and need to have a motherfuckin chat."

He slams his head into his pillow, and lets out a overdramatic groan.

"Come on man, your not my fucking therapist. I've had this talk at LEAST four times this week. 'Yes, I understand that killing yourself is NOT good for your health.' 'No, I won't try again.' 'Yes, I promise I'll be a good boy from now on.'" 

Holy shit, how sarcastic could someone get?

"Uh, Bro that's not what I was gonna talk to you about."

"The what DID you want to say?" He asks rolling his eyes.

"I was just gonna ask if you were motherfuckin okay. Y'know, were like roommates and shit, isn't that what you're supposed to do? Talk out your motherfuckin feelings?"

He rolls he eyes again and gives you a huge sigh. 

"Seriously Gamz, I'm fine. I was a fucking idiot, and I actually didn't want to die this time. Can we drop the subject?"

"No we can't. Don't you know how worried we've been?" You say raising your voice a bit. He needed to figure this out. Needed to realize what he had done to you and Sollux.

"Gamz, I get it! I'm a terrible person! What more is there to say?"

"There's plenty more to say! Hadn't you even thought of what your friends felt like this entire motherfucking time? Did you once think that Sollux might have had an ENTIRE motherfucking mental breakdown? That he hasn't left his room, or eaten, or ANYTHING?!?! Or maybe that I haven't walked in that bathroom for two weeks, because I keep seeing your blood on the tiles?!?!! Did you ever thing of US brother?"

Karkat turns his eyes to you, ashamed. 

"D-did I really fuck up that bad?" He whispers.

"You fucked up big time bro, and its time to face the motherfuckin music."

Karkat rises from his bed and walks over to where you're standing. Brown eyes meet grey as he looks up at you, pleadingly.

Then he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into an embrace much like the hug you gave him when he first arrived.

You return the hug, smiling despite the circumstances.

"I'm sorry Gamzee. Seriously dude, I'm so fucking sorry."

"I forgive you dude." You whisper back. Then you release him from your hold.

You run your hands through you hair, trying to choose your next words. "But Sollux, he might be another story. He's all kinds of fucked up right now."

"Shit. I really screwed everything over, didnt I?"

"Yeah bro. You kinda did." After a silence you finis. "You better go see that motherfucker."

"Yeah." Karkat sighs. "I probably should."

With that Karkat turns heel and leaves the room, heading out towards Sollux's.

Once he's gone you realize you'd much rather have him stay here with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a tiny tidbit of gamkar, are you people pleased?


	15. In which Sollux has a emotion breakdown.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not what I intended  
> I always swore to you I'd never fall apart  
> You always thought that I was stronger  
> I may have failed   
> but I have left you from the start.
> 
> Hold your breath, because
> 
> Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you  
> Over again  
> Don't make me change my mind  
> Or I wont live to see another day  
> I swear its true.
> 
> Your impossible to find.
> 
> ~Fall for you - Second Hand Serenade~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I have stored up. You'll probably have to wait at least a few more days, if not a week or two, for more. Btw I'm almost done with chapter 1 of two new fanfics. Be sure to check it out, it should be ready and posted by Friday.

==> Sollux: have a feels jam.

It had been nearly two weeks. Thirteen days. And you've barley left your room. Only to eat, when the nurses forced you to, and to attend your once a week group therapy session.

Gamzee had come to check on you a few times, but after you flopped out on him last time, he hasn't come back.

Besides that you've laid in bed. Replaying that terrible.moment over and over again. Karkat in a pool of his own blood, glass laying all around his unmoving body like a scene out of a horror movie.

Why? Why would he do something like that? 

Karkat was alive, yes, but he had been in the intensive care unit for the first five days. Then he had been moved to a confinement room. He was deemed a 'threat to himself and society' and couldn't leave until they thought otherwise.

Which left you to suffer in emotional pain, waiting for his return. You needed answers to the questions that had left you crippled these two weeks. And he was the only one with answers.

A soft knock sounded at your door, pulling you ever so slightly from your stupor.

"What do you want Gamzee? Go the hell away!" You yell. No doubt that clown faced douchebag was returning to apologize for making you angry early. Either that or it was another nurse to force some food and your medication down your throat.

There was a second of silence before the other answered. 

"Sollux? Its me, Karkat." He whispered quietly, so unlike he normal shout. This was a concerned, or possibly even a scared tone.

"KK.....?" You ask in disbelief.

"Ya. Can I come in?" He asks hesitatingly.

 

Quickly you wipe the tears from your cheeks. Maybe you could get some answers now.

"Ya, come in."

He steps in, dressed in a black sweater and gray sweat pants. 

You gasp a little in suprise, overwhelmed by the sight of him. He was standing in front of you, alive and moving, but all you could see was that scene in the bathroom. 

You close your eyes, unable to look at him, and let out a small sob. All thoughts of questions erased.

"Fuck." He whispers to himself, before rushing to your side. "Sollux, are-are you okay?"

You whip your sheets from your tear stained face, to look him in the eyes, astonished by the stupidity of his question.

"Ye'th KK. I'm ju'th't peachy. I mean be'th'ide'th the whole emotion turmoil of finding your friend half dead in a pool of hi'th own blood." You spit.

"Wait, what?! You saw me? I figured it was Gamzee, or some nurse of something. I didn't- oh fuck." 

He tries to hug you, but you push him off.

"It doe'th'n't matter who found you! Why the fuck would I be okay? You tried to kill yourself!" You yell at his astonished face.

"Its not like that. I didn't want to- fuck. You've got this all wrong." He turn s his eyes to tthe floor, unwilling to meet your hostile face. "You don't understand what its like. You don't know what the fuck I'm going through."

"And how would you know?" You can feel tears streaking down your face again. "Did you really think being frickin bipolar is all it takes to wind up in a place like thi'th?"

You pull up the sleeves of the yellow sweatshirt you always wore, showing a grizzly scene of scars reaching from the base of your hand to your elbow, then up you forearm too.

"Fuck KK. I KNOW what it'th like. I KNOW! I've been in and out of mental ho'th'pital'th th'ince I was eight! I've attempted th'uicide four fucking time'th! Don't you dare tell me i don't know what it'th like!" You scream, burning your throat with your sheer volume. 

Then you collaspe, unable to contain it anymore. You lay on your bed and sob. Tears you had held in for longer than you could remember. Even Gamzee didn't know exactly why you were here. 

"Sollux, I didn't think-" Karkat starts, but decides to let it drop.

You sit there in Siward silence for another minute, only your sobs breaking it.

Then you feel strong, warm arms around you. This time you didn't push him away though. You just continued crying.

Seeing that you weren't opposing this time, Karkat moves closer, pulling your larger frame into his arms. He begins running his hands through your hair and whispering into your ear.

"Shhhhhhh. Its okay. We're fine now, its all okay."

Soon you sobs begin to subside and you look him in the face.

"Can I see them?" You ask oh so softly.

He hesitates a moment, before rolling io the sleeves on his thick black sweater. Hidden beneath the fabric was a story just as tragic as your own. The only difference was the giant bandages obscuring the most recent t injury.

"Promise you won't anymore." You whisper.

He gives you a look as if to say, 'I don't know how', but soon resigns. "I'll try. I really will."

You exhale, letting two weeks of tension release itself. 

You had found someone as fucked up as you, to share your story with. Some one who knew pain, and hardship as well as you. Finally you weren't so alone.

The world seemed not as terrible, and if only for a moment you could imagine a future. One involving the boy holding you in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still looking for beta readers! Comment here if your interested.


	16. interlude

Hey guys. I know I promised new chapters but that wont be happening for a while. I don't have Internet at home and I just broke my kindle. I'm putting this story along with any other works on a temporary hold. Sorry guys.

Part 2: wow. First if all you guys are all awesome. This work is by far the most veiwed and I know theres alot of gramatical problems as well as incorrect info on some of the illnesses but im really glad that u giys read it. Truth be told this story was started as a stress relief for me, as I do experience a lot of the things that occur in this fic. one reason i went on hiatus was that I became more depressed than usual, my grades were slipping, and I had a really low self esteem, as well still not having internet. 

To conclude I guess I just wanna say this work, went farther than I thought. It went in a different than originally planned, and I dont know if I can Finish as is. Sorry.


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